Irish Is Dying

Irish Is Dying

Irish is dying,

so Pat and I, roots deep in the peat,

are off to community college to save it.

We learn

there are consonants, slender and broad.

Slender as in si, pronouced she.

Broad as in gaoth, pronounced gway.

Nouns are declining around us

and nothing is as it seems.

Teach looks easy, until it turns into tschalk.

Shibh, impossible to puzzle out,

turns out to be shiv, something I'm ready to use.

We learn

to say "Is anyone at all satisfied?"

and "He is happy, but she is not happy."

both of which we commit to memory,

knowing they'll be useful in Dublin or Belfast.

We learn

there are very few speakers of Irish

left in Ireland.

And none at all

at community college.