Don't Read This

Don't Read This

For god's sake, put down the book

and do something useful.

Open a window, blow the stink off;

stir fry up some fresh vegetables,

call a friend to join you for dinner;

buy a card for someone who's sick;

go outside and get some exercise,

you're pale and going to flab, look

at those thighs!; wash your kitchen floor,

it's full of dog hair, bird seed hulls

and muddy footprints; and walk that dog,

she's getting tired of sitting home

with nothing to do but eat the crotch

out of your old underpants; light a candle,

say a prayer for the dead or the living

or for yourself, somewhere in between.